younger self

Image credit goes to: Katerina Plotnikova

In all my years of practice the hardest part of being a witch is knowing that you need to connect with yourself on a spiritual basis. What does that mean? It means that you have to delve deep into yourself and find the piece of you that IS magick, that does sometimes make you feel weird and uncomfortable. That is where meditation and a deep, passionate respect for the world will help you. I'm not against spirit animals. I believe that they belong to the Native Tribes, the people that my grandfather belonged to, those with the strength to live! But at the same time when I work with magic I have learned that my inner self comes to me in the form of an animal - a very shy, timid animal that has taken years to glean respect - and I am still, 7 years later, still working on a relationship with that creature: the Younger Self.

In witchcraft a pagan will come to believe that the strength they harbor from books, from their learning or lessons, or their natural talent is the base of their strength but this is wrong! In fact, there's a deep well of strength lying just outside that conscious mind that you can find with a little time, practice and patience. That means you have to put time in  - it's not something that just comes to you. And most of the time your "spirit animal" or, Younger Self as you should call it, isn't something that you like or that you think is cool. In reality that creature is a reflection of you. Not all of us are wolves, not all of us are owls. In fact, I have a prey animal as my Younger Self, but we'll get to her in a moment.

When working to know your Younger Self your mind must be calm, settled. If you are in turmoil your Younger Self will avoid you (which is why it's taken my Bipolar ass 7 years to really get to know her). A mental tornado is not something that Younger Self wants to be involved in and, when push comes to shove, I'm sure all of you would understand as well. That being said: Let me tell you a story about my Younger Self.

courtesy of Wikipedia for providing a pic

My Younger Self is a rabbit. Timid, quick, intelligent, Rabbits say a lot about a person. We're spontaneous and nurturing, quick witted and have reflexes. We typically don't like confrontation much.

My Younger Self has always had a knack for appearing when you aren't looking for her. In some meditations I find her in the most obvious places - in an empty field or beside a log. Then there are the times when I stand in an empty field and cannot find her at all. But I know she's there. She always sends strength and comfort. Unfortunately I find it hard to connect to her when I'm having a mental crisis (which happens a bit). Younger Self always finds me afterward, however, and sits near enough to me for me to know she's there.

In 7 years I've never touched Younger Self. She's not quite ready for that yet. The point of this little rant isn't so you can see I'm a Rabbit Heart. It's because I want you to know that life takes time. Learning can take months or even years to come into full swing. As a Rabbit Heart I want you to know it's ok. It's ok if, during your first meditation, you don't find Younger Self. It's ok if you find yourself wandering and it's perfectly fine if you find your Younger Self and have to take a moment to reflect upon yourself why you have this beautiful creature as your Younger Self. I've known people terrified of spiders have a spider Younger Self. It's what defines them as people at a subconscious level! Do not fear your Younger Self and, if you have the patience, you'll find infinite possibilities when you've earned their trust.

Be Blessed

A Witch With Kids

I am not the first mother on the face of the planet to have a little slice of the Internet to call my own, nor am I the first Pagan to do so, either. That being said we alllll know that I'm far from the first pagan mother on a page. But what I do have is maybe a unique perspective that may or may not help others as they come. Because not only am I a Pagan Mama of 3 but I'm also a diagnosed Bipolar 2 patient that manages her life and tries to keep from slipping further down the Crazy Train than I dared to want to go. So here we go:

If you ever wanted to know my name is Amanda Wells and I am 27 years old and while I've been married for almost 4 years (in December) it's not been a walk in the park. In fact, I'm pretty sure that the only real reason I got up some times was to feed my daughter who was, at the time, the only child I had. So with that said I'm going to introduce my little Sprites in a hope of understanding when I say that my family is absolutely teeming with the wonderfully insane children that I seem to have come into my life.

AIRIN

 This is my beautiful eldest child, Air. She's a spit fire and not afraid to show it. Intelligent for her age she's always saying or doing something to make us wonder if she just may rule the world one day. She's already said that it was too much work to conquer. My little Leo is a fire baby and it shows! She's a leader, passionate, and not afraid to put her food down for what she believes in. That, in itself is quite the feat for a four year old to have accomplished. Airin has a unique gift that makes me think she'd be a great nurse or midwife one day: she can accurately predict if you're pregnant or not and is currently 8 for 8 in predicting the sex of children (including her siblings.)

SAGE

This is our little dude. Only 4 months old his hobbies include screaming at all hours and eating. The boy is sweet as can be and loves his mama. More often than not I'm writing to you guys with him sleeping on me.

Ember

 This here is Ember. My middle child is, at this moment 18 months old and the feistiest child you'll ever meet in your life. Standing at a mere 2.5 feet tall she's not afraid to knock you down to get to her level. She's head strong, she's confident, and the girl has a passion for food I've seen only a few times in my life. I know she'll do awesome in her life and teach the world something new just by being herself. This little Capricorn/Aquarius cusp is one of the sweetest kids when she's not wanting to brawl. She has keen Empathy (more than I've seen an 18 month old have before).